There’s a lot of terrible store names in Beirut. Some of them seem completely unintentional – who could have known “FAP” is also Internet slang for masturbation, right? And some of them are so bad, we have to wonder if the owners are really up to something.
Have more terrible store names? Shoot me an email (info@beirut.com) or post in the comments section below.
1. Lady Dagaga – the craziest sandwiches in town (Image via Gino’s Blog)
Everyone knows Lady Gaga doesn’t eat sandwiches.
2. Fatso’s
I always want to go to Fatso’s because it’s the only place in Beirut I know of that has free refills on coffee. But I always stop myself, because I remember that it’s called Fatso’s. I can’t be seen there.
This is the store you go to get a present gift-wrapped for someone when you don’t know why you’re even buying a gift for them in the first place, because really you’d much rather kick them in the eye… or slit your wrists with a sharp object.
4. Munchbox
Do you think whoever opened this Hamra store is trying to send subconscious messages to Beirutis to munch more box? If so, I support this.
5. Madass
Come to think of it, I wish my last name was Madass.
This is a furniture store in Hamra. I myself only recently learned that it is also Internet slang for jerking off. When do you think the owners of this store will realize that too?
7. Ballout
I know I’m immature but I can’t look at this sign without seeing BALLS OUT. I defy you to walk past this store without giggling.
8. Dick’s Nuts
Is there anyone named Dick in Lebanon? Do you think some poor old jido was opening a store and asked his smart-alec grandson: “What should I name this store, ya jido?” and the grandson, a jerk-off who spent his entire childhood watching Beavis and Butthead episodes told him: “Why don’t you name it Dick’s Nuts, heh heh. Heh heh heh. Heh. Heh.”
9. Sophie’s Choice
Sophie’s Choice is the title of a book about a woman who had to choose which one of her children would die in the Holocaust. “Sophie’s Choice” should not also be the name of a high fashion luxury store for aspiring princesses. This is just tacky.
