Did Mia Khalifa Make Eyeglasses Sexy?

Notorious pornstar Mia Khalifa gets flack for many things these days. She’s ruined the honor of the Lebanese woman, she’s provoked war with Israel, she’s energizing ISIS, somehow. Personally, I’m a Khalifa supporter. She seems pretty funny from her Twitter account – like someone I would want to be friends with. And besides, a girl’s gotta eat.

But there is one thing I just can’t forgive this woman for.

She made glasses sexy.

(Image via irishmirror.ie)

Once upon a time, wearing glasses was a great way to keep men away from you. The great author Dorothy Parker wrote, “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.” This was the beauty of eyeglasses. Eyeglasses make people appear more intelligent, and men fear intelligent women. Thus, wearing eyeglasses could be seen as a shield from unwanted attention from the male sex. Put on a pair of glasses and you might as well be invisible.

Not so, today. I was walking down the street in Hamra the other day in a proper man-repelling outfit, as is my wont, topped off with a rather large and grandmotherly pair of spectacles. “Wow, wow, nice glasses,” I hear a man call out to me in a voice so lecherous I knew instantly he was imagining them splattered in jizz. I was horrified but kept walking. How could he say such a thing? Can’t he see I’m wearing glasses?

And then I remembered.

Khalifa.

Mia Khalifa always, always wears glasses. Even when she’s having sex. In fact, one might argue that it’s the glasses that pushed her to the top of Pornhub.com. Khalifa’s glasses are her super power. She brought Drake to his knees. She’s the nice Lebanese girl next-door. Well, you know, if the girl next-door also had the biggest rack in the neighborhood and engaged in threesomes with her stepmom.

A friend of mine corroborated the trend in the sexualization of glasses-wearers in Lebanon. She hadn’t showered in multiple days when she rolled up to the Office of General Security wearing her dowdiest fleece and her eyeglasses. Despite her lack of hygiene, the officers still hit on her – because, glasses. Later, she donned an oversize, patently unsexy sweater to go to the grocery store. With the glasses. A teenager walked by and said to her, “Hey sexy.”

Khalifa. How else to explain this phenomena? There’s no helping us now. Mia Khalifa wears glasses, and so now glasses are a turn-on. The world is over.

What’s next, the hijab?

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