Five Creative Ways to Get Patriotic on #Nov22

As far as I’m concerned, patriotism means scarfing down ten gallons of hummus, throwing back a bottle of arak in 45 minutes and setting off illegal fireworks from the roof of your apartment building in Jeitawi to the sound of street cats making sweet love in the nearby alley.

My point being: Why act indifferent towards your country, when you can get embarrassingly crazy about your displays of patriotism instead?

Patriotism isn’t about shedding blood, it’s about getting Haifa Wehbe’s face tattooed across your entire back and then taking off your shirt and running down the street screaming, “I love you, Nancy” over and over again. You know why? Because they’re both (sort of) beautiful b*tches. And more importantly because they’re both Lebanese.

Still not convinced? Here are five slightly-less retarded ways to express your patriotism:

1. Get a custom Lebanese flag paint job done on your motorcycle.

2. Dress up like this lady.

3. Make Lebanese-themed food.

4. Decorate your balcony.

5. Nothing says unity like sharing an over-sized poster with complete strangers: Put your face on the #Nov22 flag.